Last updated 15:17, Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Sarah Dawes, 25, lives in Denton Holme, Carlisle, with husband Chris and children Joseph, three, and seven-month-old Isla.

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Pictured, Sarah Dawes with husband Chris and children Isla, seven months, and Joseph, three

Sarah’s symptoms first appeared about two weeks after Joseph was born and soon after she separated from her first husband.

“I was up every hour with Joseph during the night. I was on my own with no-one to talk to.” She says she felt isolated, tearful, trapped and had images of hurting him – a common trait with postnatal depression – which in turn made her feel guilty.

But when she tried to get support, she couldn’t find it. She was diagnosed with borderline postnatal depression and eventually her doctor arranged for her to see a counsellor and she was prescribed anti-depressants. But she didn’t find the counselling helpful and was surprised by the lack of support groups in north Cumbria.

In fact her main support has come from husband Chris, who has also had to deal with Sarah’s depression. He says: “Sometimes she’ll say and do things but I know it’s not really her. I just try to help her as much as I can but people on their own must find it hard.

“It’s seen as a kind of phantom illness I think, or as an excuse. It seems if you have problems with jobs or money, and get depressed, you get put forward for an appointment, but with postnatal depression it’s different.

“With the amount of people that have children, many people must go through it and I’m surprised there’s not more support.”

Sarah is still battling her postnatal depression, as she relapsed about a fortnight ago. She says: “I think I came off my medication too quickly, and will go back to the doctor to see the best route to take. “Anything can trigger it, you might be having a normal day then just burst into tears. Now it manifests itself in different ways; I have images of running away now.

“I’m lucky in a way because I know what I’ve got and why I feel like this. But it’s still a taboo and people are good at hiding it and suffer in silence.

“Postnatal depression doesn’t make you a bad mother, it just means you need extra help.”

Sarah has qualified as a counsellor in order to offer help to women going similar experiences, and has set up a support group.

“A couple of people have been in touch just to congratulate me on coming forward about postnatal depression. One woman with postnatal depression who got in touch is now back at work. I helped her build her confidence up, gave her ideas and she started getting out and about again.”

Sarah also plans to set up an information day in Carlisle but is looking for help with this. If you can help, or if you want to contact the support group, email pnd_help@yahoo.co.uk

Nicola’s eldest son Oliver is now nine, but her experience of postnatal depression is not one she will readily forget.

She explains: “It’s not an illness like hurting somewhere and knowing something’s wrong.

“Everything changes after you’ve had a baby, so you don’t know how you should be feeling.”

Nicola, who runs real nappy business Cotton Baby from home, found she lacked energy and self esteem, and felt under extreme pressure to prove she was a good mum. “You have a real lack of control and want to make things right but can’t. When you start out you’ve gone straight from being you to being a mum and I think a lot of new mums don’t have enough time for themselves. I was very conscious of how people perceived me, and I thought people were judging me as a mum.

“Basically I was flailing around in the dark. I felt like everything was against me. I had irrational thoughts, never about the children but always against me. I imagined ramming a car into a wall which obviously now seems mad. Because I didn’t know what was wrong I couldn’t express myself and had no release.”

Nicola, 38, was living in Brighton when she had Oliver, and a health visitor there produced a piece of paper and said she needed to check whether Nicola had post natal depression.

“She asked a few questions but when it came to things like ‘Do you feel like you are coping’, of course I wasn’t going to admit to a stranger that things weren’t going well. I thought the way it was handled was inappropriate. Rather than having someone to talk to, I was asked a few questions from an A4 sheet of paper, and a few boxes were ticked, though not enough to diagnose me.”

In 2001 she moved from Brighton to Thursby after her husband Graeme, who is a policeman, got transferred for work.

Nicola had similar symptoms when she had Hannah, seven, but was not diagnosed until just before Louis, now four, was born.

When she was diagnosed she was prescribed anti-depressants which worked almost instantly. “They did the trick and straight away things got easier.

“If you have a headache you can take aspirin, and I did what was right for me with regards my postnatal depression.

“Now when I talk about it I feel like I’m talking about a different woman. I am so glad to come out the other side.

“Although I would change the length of my postnatal depression, I wouldn’t change the fact I went through it. It’s made me a stronger person. I wouldn’t be running my business for example.

“Though it’s becoming better known, I think it’s important for postnatal depression to be picked up on and people to be more aware of it.

“I wouldn’t have known a few years ago to look up a support group, so if women can find a group in Carlisle, that will be great.”