Last updated 11:57, Tuesday, 08 July 2008

Regular readers (I know who you both are) may remember a while back I risked life and limb, or at least my breakfast, by riding on the rollercoasters of Camelot.

Well call me stupid (ok, not that loud) but I’ve only gone and done it again.

This time a perk of the job involved a trip down to Camelot to stay in a themed room at the hotel on site, followed by a day at the park.

It was for the kids. It made them happy. I survived once, I could survive again.

And then I opened the door to our themed quarters. Themed by Bertie Bassett no less. Quite apart from the squintillion bags of sweets left lying in wait for us all, there was a jelly baby bathroom, liquorice allsorts doors and a Refreshers room.

It was like sleeping in a nursery that night. All that was missing was my musical mobile to help me journey to the land of nod.

But the kids loved it, of course. And it was for them, after all.

The day after it was down to the theme park, but I had a secret weapon this time. Friends of ours had joined us for the day, and the Dad of their Army was pretty much up for going on anything. He’s a farmer, he doesn’t get much excitement otherwise...

Anyway, that saved me from the Excalibur, a stomach churning ride which took my eldest daughter, Zoe, high and upside down.

Why? Who’d want that to happen to them? Madness.

I sought the refuge of the remote control pirate ships with my other daughter Erin, but such was the gust of wind that we didn’t get our galleon out of harbour. I wasn’t yo-ho-hoing much to losing a quid on that one.

The inevitable was soon upon us. A new ride at Camelot, the Knightmare. Way up there in the sky with such a fierce drop it subjects riders to more g-force than any other coaster in the UK, reaching a high of 5g.

The phrase ‘5g’ sent waves of fear through Zoe’s body, even though she didn’t quite know what it meant. But she had to ride it, and Dad had to go with her. Erin was more sensible.

But how could I duck out when Mum, who gets sick on a see-saw, was also in the queue?

I turned to Zoe and saw she had tears in her eyes. Well she was the one who had bullied me to get on so I wasn’t going to feel that sympathetic!

I told her she’d be ok. She was still worried about 5g – maybe it’s a particularly rowdy class at her school.

We rose, and rose, and then... well it’s all a blur, but it involved me trying to keep my head on my neck as it felt like it was about to ripped off at any moment.

Zoe sounded terrified. Then we passed through the steepest drop. The 5g. “Have we done it Dad?” Zoe asked. “Have we done the 5g? We have! I LOVE this ride, it’s mint!”

Personally, speech and extreme fear don’t marry easily for me so I didn’t reply. But no doubt I’ll be back again one day. Just for the kids, you understand.