Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Ross Brewster

Computer says... the daftest things

Published 8 May 2008

computerno It’s not only the surly Little Britain character who grunts at customers and clients the notorious words “computer says no”.

Consultation is just cynical

Published 8 May 2008

HERE’S a candidate for the most meaningless word in the English language – consultation.

‘Lifestyle’ TV makes us feel bad

Published 8 May 2008

TRIED to find a bit of entertainment on the telly the other day.

Chorister with a bag full of cool

Published 8 May 2008

COURAGE comes in many forms and Andrew Johnston, the chorister who sang for 12,000 fans at Brunton Park on Saturday, has it in spades.

No wonder people are leaving rude Britannia

Published 1 May 2008

A TV poll this week showed that in Britain the peasants really are revolting.

Now it’s cool to be a Scout

Published 1 May 2008

THE fact that there’s a waiting list to join the Scouts shows that today’s teenagers still have plenty of get up and go and aren’t all couch potato computer addicts playing the latest violent games.

Time to get a reality cheque from banks

Published 1 May 2008

ONE London-based international banking firm has told its employees they must start cutting back a bit in view of the current credit crunch.

Great idea – if I can find the old bag, that is

Published 1 May 2008

I’VE always maintained that old age is God’s last joke before you get the personal interview.

We’ve lost control of our prisons

Published 24 April 2008

Compensation culture has broken out across Britain and nowhere is it being practised more scandalously than in our overcrowded prisons.

Olympics should get back to basics

Published 24 April 2008

IN any other situation Tessa Jowell, the minister responsible for mismanaging the financing of London 2012, would have been forced to resign.

Louts are knocking my game for six

Published 24 April 2008

HOW many cricket fans, I wonder, rushed out first thing on Monday to get the paper to discover whether Delhi’s Daredevils had outslogged Rajasthan’s Royals in one of the first of the new Indian Premier League games.

No title

Published 24 April 2008

THINGS certainly ain’t what they used to be. Why, even telephone cold callers can’t be bovvered to annoy you in person any more.

Raise the white flag

Published 21 April 2008

What Hitler failed to do in the war, yobs, file wielding bureaucrats and extremists have achieved in 2008 – Britain’s surrender.

Why should we bail out Northern Rock?

Published 21 April 2008

THAT pile of dud betting slips from Ladbrokes... perhaps I should gather them up and send them off to Alistair Darling now that it seems it’s government policy to bail out failed investors.

Not smart, Paul but it’s only a game

Published 17 April 2008

Some years ago I had a pal who was as mild-mannered and conservative in habits as it was possible to be – until he ventured on to the terraces at a football match whereupon the Mr Hyde side of his character spilled out into quite shocking displays of invective aimed at unfortunate players and referees.

Call us anything but never ‘quaint’

Published 17 April 2008

SOMETIMES I weary of living in a tourist cliché. There’s currently a rush of travel articles in the national media espousing the delights of the Lake District.

The spirit of adventure lives on in Indira’s name

Published 17 April 2008

WHAT amazing dignity was shown by the parents of 19-year-old Indira Swann when being interviewed about the death of their daughter in the Ecuador coach crash which claimed the lives of four other young women.

It’s only leading to more Gazza tears

Published 17 April 2008

Sheep’s rights? Ewe must be mad

Published 17 April 2008

TELL me it’s a remnant April fool joke that organisers of an agricultural show down south have banned the sheep shearing contest this year because it might impinge on the rights of the sheep!

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