Ross Brewster
Computer says... the daftest things
Published 8 May 2008
It’s not only the surly Little Britain character who grunts at customers and clients the notorious words “computer says no”.
Consultation is just cynical
Published 8 May 2008
HERE’S a candidate for the most meaningless word in the English language – consultation.
‘Lifestyle’ TV makes us feel bad
Published 8 May 2008
TRIED to find a bit of entertainment on the telly the other day.
Chorister with a bag full of cool
Published 8 May 2008
COURAGE comes in many forms and Andrew Johnston, the chorister who sang for 12,000 fans at Brunton Park on Saturday, has it in spades.
No wonder people are leaving rude Britannia
Published 1 May 2008
A TV poll this week showed that in Britain the peasants really are revolting.
Now it’s cool to be a Scout
Published 1 May 2008
THE fact that there’s a waiting list to join the Scouts shows that today’s teenagers still have plenty of get up and go and aren’t all couch potato computer addicts playing the latest violent games.
Hogwarts for A-level? It’s Harry Potty
Published 1 May 2008
Time to get a reality cheque from banks
Published 1 May 2008
ONE London-based international banking firm has told its employees they must start cutting back a bit in view of the current credit crunch.
Great idea – if I can find the old bag, that is
Published 1 May 2008
I’VE always maintained that old age is God’s last joke before you get the personal interview.
We’ve lost control of our prisons
Published 24 April 2008
Compensation culture has broken out across Britain and nowhere is it being practised more scandalously than in our overcrowded prisons.
Olympics should get back to basics
Published 24 April 2008
IN any other situation Tessa Jowell, the minister responsible for mismanaging the financing of London 2012, would have been forced to resign.
Louts are knocking my game for six
Published 24 April 2008
HOW many cricket fans, I wonder, rushed out first thing on Monday to get the paper to discover whether Delhi’s Daredevils had outslogged Rajasthan’s Royals in one of the first of the new Indian Premier League games.
No title
Published 24 April 2008
THINGS certainly ain’t what they used to be. Why, even telephone cold callers can’t be bovvered to annoy you in person any more.
Raise the white flag
Published 21 April 2008
What Hitler failed to do in the war, yobs, file wielding bureaucrats and extremists have achieved in 2008 – Britain’s surrender.
Why should we bail out Northern Rock?
Published 21 April 2008
THAT pile of dud betting slips from Ladbrokes... perhaps I should gather them up and send them off to Alistair Darling now that it seems it’s government policy to bail out failed investors.
Not smart, Paul but it’s only a game
Published 17 April 2008
Some years ago I had a pal who was as mild-mannered and conservative in habits as it was possible to be – until he ventured on to the terraces at a football match whereupon the Mr Hyde side of his character spilled out into quite shocking displays of invective aimed at unfortunate players and referees.
Call us anything but never ‘quaint’
Published 17 April 2008
SOMETIMES I weary of living in a tourist cliché. There’s currently a rush of travel articles in the national media espousing the delights of the Lake District.
The spirit of adventure lives on in Indira’s name
Published 17 April 2008
WHAT amazing dignity was shown by the parents of 19-year-old Indira Swann when being interviewed about the death of their daughter in the Ecuador coach crash which claimed the lives of four other young women.
It’s only leading to more Gazza tears
Published 17 April 2008
Sheep’s rights? Ewe must be mad
Published 17 April 2008
TELL me it’s a remnant April fool joke that organisers of an agricultural show down south have banned the sheep shearing contest this year because it might impinge on the rights of the sheep!