Anne Pickles
A prayer for peace on earth... but more importantly in the supermarket car park
Published 23 December 2008
It was a common wail of pre-Christmas weariness in our house when I was a child. Struggling to surface from a mountain of bags, boxes, packets and bottles, my mother would moan repeatedly: “It’ll be so lovely when the shops are shut!”
There’s nothing like a good Christmas tradition – even if we can’t quite always remember why
Published 19 December 2008
Panto tonight. Or at least that’s the plan. Do anything more than once at Christmas and it officially qualifies as a tradition. Last year we went to the panto... so this year it’s traditionally what we have to do.
If you want it a bit rich this Christmas, how about swallowing the latest line from Nigella?
Published 12 December 2008
She was probably having an off day. We all get them – days when, from the minute the alarm rings in the pitch darkness of early morning, the only point we can rouse ourselves to look forward to is bedtime.
Cosmic spanner-thrower has reached into his toolbox to remind us of important things in life
Published 5 December 2008
Things aren’t going strictly according to plan. They rarely do, come to think of it, which endorses my immovable believe that plans are never worth making in the first place. Make yourself a plan and something will invariably screw it up.
Farewell to the original one-stop shop, where David Cassidy once sat alongside lavender talc
Published 28 November 2008
Some people,when asked about their earliest memories, recall joyous childhood holidays at the seaside – with donkeys, ice cream cones, sand castles and eternal sunshine.
If lights switch-on goes wrong expect Tigger dressed as me – or the other way around
Published 21 November 2008
My new friend Tigger and I are very well aware that just about anything might happen – because, up to press, just about everything has.
It’s good to know that nobbly veg is allowed to retake its place in society
Published 14 November 2008
The first time in a long time that I came across a wonky vegetable it had pride of place in a sensationally impressive church. And it wasn’t even harvest festival.
The reason dresses and diets can dominate our days is because of the sacrifice of others’ lives
Published 7 November 2008
A busy old week, one way or another. Singing witches at the door, bearded ghouls looking for sweets; bonfires, bangers and a penny for the Guy who asked to use my toilet... life’s never boring in crackpot corner.
Beautiful red patent shoes with stylish matching bag? Glad to see my taxes are being spent wisely
Published 31 October 2008
Two beautiful girls. One a pretty, slender blonde, the other a slim and bright eyed brunette. But – surprisingly – twins for all that.How times have changed. When I entered the sixth form for A-level study, I worked as a shampoo girl at a local hairdressing salon – £2 for Friday night, after school until 10pm; £4 for Saturday 8am to 5.30pm and if a new Beatles album was due for release I topped up with another pound, helping my fishmonger grandad with his skinning and filleting.
Cut short the Christmas kitsch? Now that would be something for we Ebenezers to bemoan
Published 24 October 2008
The surprising shift in mood and view is entirely due to fall-out from deepening doom and gloom. Christmas? Bring it on, light it up, shine it bright and shame the humbugs!
Of course you can take the girl out of Cumbria – but she’ll never forget the first love of her life
Published 10 October 2008
It was a perfect autumn afternoon. A soft, golden Tuscan sunshine was bathing the piazza in which long, lazy lunches were being enjoyed by locals and visitors together, making best advantage of fresh air, good food and friendship.
Keep a couple of dreams up your sleeve and you’ll discover that old age has some benefits
Published 3 October 2008
Dressed to the teeth – for a man who still prefers jeans and T-shirts – his smile wasn’t quite so wide as usual. He’s normally such a happy chap.
Very sweet of those nice folk at the council to take an interest but no wedding bells here
Published 26 September 2008
Rumours of matrimony are greatly exaggerated. No cake, no frock, no rings nor patter of slamming doors. I’m still the singleton – or to be more legally accurate the happy divorcee – in spite of some suspicions to the contrary.
A birthday celebration with champagne and sausage? It could only be done in Cumbria
Published 19 September 2008
We were a mixed bunch. Motley even. All ages, shapes and sizes; complexions ranging from Mediterranean tan to Cumbria pasty face. Sipping Pimm’s through cucumber, we were in celebratory mood.
I can stand divorce, death and drama – but a wayward apostrophe still gives me the willies
Published 19 September 2008
They’re back then. Some with smiles, some with scowls, some with new blazers bought for the growing into. A new school year has begun.
I can stand divorce, death and drama – but a wayward apostrophe still gives me the willies
Published 12 September 2008
They’re back then. Some with smiles, some with scowls, some with new blazers bought for the growing into. A new school year has begun.
Daffodils to define us? Now there’s a notion to make you smile – more than anywhere else, too
Published 5 September 2008
Never mind the daffodils, what about the pies? Surely there’s more to Cumbria than a soppy old poem about nodding spring flowers.
Life without loved ones is like a bank holiday without a carnival where men dress as ducks
Published 29 August 2008
It was an eerily quiet bank holiday Sunday. No decorated floats, loud music, fun fair rides or crowds – just a handful of beery smokers, standing ankle deep in cigarette butts piled outside the pubs.
I could take or leave the Olympic ballyhoo, if it weren’t for those unsporting Aussies
Published 22 August 2008
How do you make a browbeaten Brit chipper? Give him a clutch of superheroes and a medal tally to gloat about. That’s the pure gold lesson of Beijing.
A purchase thwarted by those three little words that strike fear into the heart: health and safety
Published 22 August 2008
His cheeks flushed with an intake of breath matching the suction action of a Dyson. It was so fierce his eyes bulged – and I’d an idea I might be in trouble.
