Saturday, 04 July 2009

Anne Pickles

Summer's heat can do very odd things to people

Published 3 July 2009

Turned out nice again – as George Formby would have said, shading his little ukulele from the sun.

Bare bottoms can never beat a mature magnolia

Published 26 June 2009

Wrong place, wrong time... it’s the story of life limited by safe choices. And yes, you’re right. I should get out more.

Despite our wishes for millions, home is what’s priceless

Published 19 June 2009

Big dreams and carrots – they seem to go hand in hand all of a sudden. Healthy, wealthy and wisely knowing when to chop your root vegetables is the surprising new route to Nirvana.

There’s plenty of life left in the old dog

Published 12 June 2009

Not the happiest of weeks, this one. Charlie, our faithful, bossy, family Westie has been decidedly under the weather.

The legs may be little – but they can’t be his last

Published 12 June 2009

Not the happiest of weeks, this one. Charlie, our faithful, bossy, family Westie has been decidedly under the weather.

Time runs out to learn lessons of a past generation

Published 5 June 2009

What a conundrum youth can be. Vibrant, fit, pretty and strong, it looks past old age with unseeing eyes; hears only its own chosen youthful clatter... missing the point and learning nothing much at all.

As sure to let you down as men and Manchester United

Published 29 May 2009

The most entertaining tale to come out of that football match concerned a car load of Rome-bound Manchester United fans, a sat nav and a misdirected route into Luxembourg... where the only known championship is Eurovision.

Clock the quality of our couture – then try the pies

Published 15 May 2009

They don’t naturally sit together in the style bibles of the glitterati. In fact, I’d wager Michelle Obama has never heard of Dearham pies.

Rasher among us are just glad it isn’t sheep flu

Published 8 May 2009

It’s a panic thing – a tunefully modern rerun of the old ring o’roses hit. More like something close to hysteria, actually – and no good ever came from nursery rhymed hysteria.

No answering back – but if you really must, make sure it is in a suitably exotic tongue

Published 1 May 2009

When I was at primary school – a young pup in eye patch and ankle socks – I was taught two languages. English and not to answer back.

I missed gifts of God, but we all got Achilles’ heel

Published 24 April 2009

She’s a jolly sort – a sunny person who laughs at trouble and shrugs off hardship with a winning broad grin. It’s an enviable gift.

I would resort to fly-tipping if I had the strength

Published 17 April 2009

They say bereavement, divorce and moving house are life’s most stressful events. But when did they last buy new furniture?

Holidays aren’t easy for stressed northerners

Published 10 April 2009

Several surveys of down in the mouth Brits reckon the majority of us are far too stressed to be bothered taking a foreign holiday this year. Having just returned from one, I can kind of see their point.

The most chilling phrase is It's for charity!

Published 3 April 2009

Certain phrases send a cold chill down my spine and into my heart.

Pilates is hardly on a par with a new Aston Martin

Published 27 March 2009

When an old friend of mine hit one of his mid-life crises, he bought a Harley Davidson and set off for Wales.

It’s hard to deal with when moles bite you on bum

Published 20 March 2009

My word, they’re naughty, these free-spirited country girls. Off the homestead leash, out and about in their lippy and heels... they’re positively wicked. Border Ladies NFU, I salute you.

A sad souvenir of a crushing strike 25 years ago which did no one much good

Published 13 March 2009

I’m ashamed to say, I envy Eric Martlew. The Carlisle MP has something I want and – if truth be known – more than envying, I covet it.

Leave me alone or my generous nature means I'll have to resort to charity binbag chic

Published 6 March 2009

To whom it may concern – and I mean this most sincerely: Please go away. I have no more clothes.

The pie’s the limit for Cumbrians – just don’t ask for consensus on Cranstons’ versus Colin’s

Published 27 February 2009

British Pie Week starts on Monday. Not an event likely to stop the world mid spin – nor pull the brakes on Royal Bank of Scotland’s slide into the soup – but of interest, you might think. Particularly to banking gravy train travellers.

I’ll forgo a twitter for a natter over a cuppa any day

Published 20 February 2009

My friend Jane has newly become a Twitterer. That is to say, she has started tweeting.

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