Last updated 12:11, Friday, 21 March 2008

A MAN came to me the other day defending some kids who had got into a spot of bother in Maryport.

Those concerned were aged around 14 and the man told me: “They were just having a sly fag and a drink, the way kids do.”

He was probably right. I am sure many kids have, do and will try cigarettes and booze.

The difference now is the parent’s attitude in this case.

We may have tried to smoke and drink but we would have done everything in our power to ensure our parents never found out because, if they did, they certainly would not have shrugged it off as something that kids just do!

With us there would have been endless lectures and, if not dire punishment, at least the threat of it.

It was made very clear to us that we were kids and that we were NOT grown-ups.

The lines seem to have become blurred.

I truly believe I am in no position to judge anyone else, simply because that leaves me open to judgement.

So I feel so sorry for the mother of 15-year-old Scarlett Keeling who was raped and murdered in Goa in India.

But while I am trying not to judge, I just wonder how this woman could have left her child with a 25-year-old man she barely knew? I wonder how a 15-year-old came to have a boyfriend, a tour guide, so much older than her.

What is even more disturbing were revelations this week that Scarlett talks in her diary of having drink, drugs and underage sex. It also emerges that she and her boyfriend had fallen out and she was actually living alone in a guest house while her mother, Scarlett’s siblings and her stepfather were off visiting another province of India.

Let us not forget that the crime here is that this beautiful child was raped and murdered and there is absolutely nobody to blame for that than the perpetrator(s) themselves.

I once left the keys in the ignition of my car and my car was stolen. I blamed myself until a friend pointed out that you should be able to leave your cars open and that the criminal was the person who stole it.

I agree. But in this day and age we also have to take some precautions. It’s not a crime to leave your car unlocked but it is sensible to lock it.

But if it is sensible to take precautions about a car, it is absolutely necessary to do everything in your power to protect your child.

Fiona McKeown, Scarlett’s mother, seems not to have done that.

She has treated her child as she would any adult. She has left her to her own devices to look after herself, to make her own judgements and to tend to her own protection.

Most parents would be shocked by this course of action. Most parents would know that, no matter how mature your 15-year old might purport to be, she or he is still a child, with a child’s sense of judgement.

Police in Maryport have told me of finding 11-year-olds with alcohol or 14 and 15-year-old girls lying drunk and practically unconscious.

Where are the parents?

We can’t be careless with our kids. We can’t dismiss incidents as a harmless bit of fun when the harm the fun can do is patently obvious.

We can’t let our 11-year-olds roam the streets until late and not worry that they might be harming themselves.

And we cannot leave our kids with strangers.

Much has been made of Scarlett’s mother’s lifestyle - so many kids, so many partners etc.

Her life is hers to live as she wishes. But if Fiona McKeown, you or I, get distracted from the most important job of all - raising our kids - then we have to put up with the society we are going to create.

And if we are very, very lucky, our kids will only get into trouble.

And if we are not, they will be headline news in every paper in the country - and they might even be dead.