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Thursday, 23 May 2013

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The winners of the season are...

Wow, what a thrilling season it’s been.

Chelsea stunned everyone by winning the Champions League, despite not actually playing any football in the latter stages of the competition.

Joey Barton tried and failed to prove he was a reformed character, and the Anfield cat and Ewood Park chicken spent longer on the pitch than Kieron Dyer.

So, to mark the end of the Premier League’s most amazing season, here are the 10 Fuller on Football 2011/12 Awards.

MARK Zuckerberg service to the internet: Tom Cleverley, the Manchester United youngster who bizarrely decided that enough people cared about him to launch his own website.

ALAN Partridge moment: Gary Neville is the best pundit in football, but that noise he makes when something good happens is pure Partridge gold. We heard it when Fernando Torres sunk Barcelona and when Didier Drogba headed Chelsea level in Munich. No one quite knows how he makes it but, when he does, it’s worth listening to.

DERECK Chisora thuggery award: As if you didn’t know. Joey Barton for his attempt to go down fighting against Manchester City. I can forgive him for elbowing Carlos Tevez, but the afters with Aguero, Vincent Kompany and Balotelli were disgusting.

CLANGER of the year: It could be linesman Bob Pollock, who said no when Clint Hill’s header went a million miles past the Bolton goal line.

But Martin Atkinson is streets ahead in getting key decisions wrong.

The ref not only gave Robert Huth a harsh red card, yet allowed Mario Balotelli to stop on the field after a disgraceful tackle on Alex Song.

But his major moment of madness came as he wrongly awarded Juan Mata’s goal in the FA Cup semi-final.

KAUTO Star time to call it a day: Kieron Dyer. If the man was an animal, he’d have been put down.

Dyer has played seven minutes this year. Seven! His appearance record is worse than Owen Hargreaves and Michael Owen combined, yet QPR have given him another 12 month contract.

The cat that ran on to the Anfield pitch, and the Blackburn chicken let loose in protest against Rovers’ owners Venky’s spent more time on the field than that donkey.

GRIM Reaper award: Geoff Shreaves. The way he told Branislav Ivanovic he was banned from playing in the Champions League final and then continued to press for a reaction was cruel.

JIMMY Glass season saving moment: Sergio Aguero’s 95th minute strike which not only gifted Manchester City a first title in forever, it put that look on the face of Phil Jones and Sir Alex Ferguson.

BIGGEST flop: It’s either Stewart Downing – no goals and no assists, or Charlie Adam, whose penalty in the League Cup final is still yet to come back to earth. Tough one, they both win.

SEPP Blatter award for buffoonery: John Terry assault on Alexis Sanchez was disgraceful and cost the Chelsea captain a chance to lift the Champions League trophy. No, wait. He was in his kit and ready quicker than the time Wayne Bridge came home early.

NOTORIOUS tweeter: If you were expecting Barton, again, sorry. Step forward Rio Ferdinand. No I don’t want a Snickers, Rio. Stop advertising your sponsors, unless you’re in need of the money?

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