My treadmill has been gathering dust in our front room for around a year now.
It’s been handy to hang washing off and my cats think it’s an adventure playground.
I used it all the time when I started off on my running journey as I didn’t want to be spotted doing exercise in Workington.
I was too embarrassed. Then, when the Lycra came out and I felt a bit more confident, I took to the roads and the treadmill was forsaken.
I spent a bit of money on it and felt its accusing stare every time I walked past it.
So, I decided this weekend I would start to use it again. It was raining and I really couldn’t be bothered to go out.
This will upset Sam at BodyFit as this month is PMA month – positive mental attitude.
I was positive I wasn’t leaving my house.
Anyway, I plugged in the treadmill and was relieved to find that it was still working.
There was a slight moment of panic when it didn’t, but then I remembered to plug in the emergency cord, attached to the machine by a magnet, that you’re supposed to clip on to yourself and yank if you get into difficulty.
Now, to be clear, I loved treadmilling in the past but I have never really ran properly on the thing.
Instead, I did like a fast walk/trot thing that enabled me to feel good about myself and read my Kindle at the same time (font size: extra large. When I was starting out it was too quick and I used it once to do a homework session. It was boring.
My Fitbit has a treadmill setting so I was also keen to try that out too.
A year later and I felt confident. Over-confident. There’s four 30-minute programmes available and number four is the hardest, with massive inclines and fast speeds.
“Hmmm, I’m a runner now. I’ll give that a whirl,” I thought to myself. Not that much of a runner, it turns out.
It was still too fast and I had to slow the speeds down ever so slightly as I pounded the belt. I stuck my earphones in and began singing along at the top of my voice.
At one stage, the husband thought I’d hurt myself but it was just a particularly high note. It was hard work. Sweat ended up dripping off my nose and my glasses steamed up.
I couldn’t believe how hot I was getting.
Okay, I could push myself harder at BodyFit classes, but Sam doesn’t let you get away with much slacking off (except when you go round a corner and she can’t spot you).
There were seven minutes to go and my will was flagging, but I asked myself “What would Sam do?” The answer? Get off the treadmill, go out for a 20-mile run and a 50-mile bike ride and then probably climb a mountain. I quickly discounted that and decided to suck it up and get on with it.
It was really uncomfortable but I managed and felt vindicated afterwards.
As I cooled down I cleaned my steamy glasses.
It was at this point I discovered I had actually invented the treadmilling version of Bikram yoga, which you practise in a hot room. The treadmill had moved backwards across the room, while I was on it, until it slid up against the front door – right next to the radiator.
Note to self: Next time you use the treadmill, make sure the radiator isn’t turned on.
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