I thought beds were supposed to be relaxing? Go and look at all your fluffy pillows and your B&M throw. If it isn’t the embodiment of peace and serenity then I don’t know what is.
Friday, 20 January, 2017 at 12:05AM
What's that phrase? When life throws you lemons, make lemonade?
Friday, 13 January, 2017 at 12:05AM
Well, it’s back to reality. Christmas and New Year are fast becoming a distant memory and it’s ‘back to it’ as you lot say.
Friday, 06 January, 2017 at 12:05AM
Happy New Year, guys! Well, for Sunday anyway. Another year is about to expire and make its journey up to that angelic-laden place in the sky.
Friday, 30 December, 2016 at 12:00AM
GOOD morrow, my friends! Holiday wishes to one and all just two days before Christmas!
Friday, 23 December, 2016 at 12:00AM
I’m not weird, am I? I mean, you guys would tell me, wouldn’t you?
Friday, 16 December, 2016 at 12:00AM
So I'm thrilled to say that as of last week we have two new additions to the Lofthouse clan.
Friday, 09 December, 2016 at 12:05AM
My baby, unfortunately, has been cursed with the eczema gene.
Friday, 02 December, 2016 at 12:05AM
So chilblain weather is officially back. I’ve been busy rubbing Sudocrem into my poor feet - or, as you lot call it, sudocream.
Friday, 25 November, 2016 at 12:00AM
So what else can I really say this week except “good luck America”?
Friday, 18 November, 2016 at 12:00AM
Honestly, all I heard over last weekend was bang, bang, bang!
Friday, 11 November, 2016 at 12:05AM
Wilkommen! Ooohhhh, Lidl is open in Maryport!
Friday, 04 November, 2016 at 12:05AM
It's almost Halloween! The only time it’s deemed socially acceptable for me to venture outside wearing my regular clothes.
Friday, 28 October, 2016 at 12:08AM
I’m always in the mood for buzzing around the track in a petrol-powered shopping cart.
Friday, 21 October, 2016 at 12:05AM
It's that time of year again. All of us ladies will be breaking out the woolly tights and all the guys will still insist on frequenting Workington’s pubs wearing a V-neck T-shirt.
Friday, 14 October, 2016 at 12:00AM
I was born to drive. If I’m not inebriated and okay to sit behind a wheel, I will drive anywhere.
Friday, 07 October, 2016 at 12:00AM
Sometimes you need to just stop while you’re ahead.
Friday, 30 September, 2016 at 12:00AM
I’ve never understood the fear that grasps hold of some people when it comes to trying something new or taking a risk. My granddad, bless his Daily Mail -reading soul, refuses to drink anything other than his regular decaf.
Friday, 23 September, 2016 at 12:00AM
I hate swimming. It’s probably because I’m an air sign. I’d rather pull off every one of my fingernails just so that I can experience something much more pleasant.
Friday, 16 September, 2016 at 12:00AM
I wish someone had told me a long time ago that glace cherries don’t taste like fresh cherries, or that you shouldn’t eat six packs of Tic Tac mints off the bat unless you want to be ill.
Friday, 09 September, 2016 at 12:00AM