It's not so bad this time of year, is it? The sun pops out occasionally, the kids are still at school before the six weeks of hell that are the summer holidays and cider is usually on offer alongside the disposable barbies.

Even better, the “nice” weather means that I can cut my leccy bill in half because I can stick all of my washing on the line.

I do have to be careful though, last year my joggers with the “balloon” seat were targeted by a rather vicious gust of wind and nearly ripped the washing line straight off the wall.

It shows my age that I get excited about pegging out washing.

Once upon a time I’d be ecstatic at the thought of The Backstreet Boys going on tour, now I’m over the moon when I find a buy-one-get-one-free offer on washing detergent.

Yep, as your age gets higher your expectations get lower.

It’s like when you go to the salon. Once you were happy getting just your legs done, now you’re happy if you don’t need your tash done every fortnight.

Still, I treated myself to some new pegs, courtesy of Poundstretcher. I finally have enough to assign two pegs to each garment.

Previously I was trying to dry 20 items using only three pegs. How I managed it I’ll never know.

I think once you have a kid those are the sort of “mam superpowers” that you gain.

Anyway, it was a gorgeous sunny and blustery day so I got all of my smalls, towels and support wear on the line and sat back, satisfied and enjoying the colourful display, like a load of imaginary people dancing upside down.

Joy soon turned to embarrassment when a group of teenagers went out of their way to point and laugh at my not-so-sexy undergarments twirling around on the line.

“Did you have to kill a whole cheetah for them?” They pointed at my animal-print slimming wear.

I quickly hurried to pull the offensive items off the line but, being vertically challenged, I was struggling to catch the clothing that the wind was so cruelly dangling above my head.

They continued laughing at me while I was waving my chubby little arms over my head in such a wild fashion that I didn’t notice the wasp as big as a chihuahua hovering behind me.

As soon as I heard the buzz I had just enough time to close my eyes and squeal.

My eyesight was saved but I couldn’t say the same for my eyelid and mouth. I looked like the lovechild of Katie Price and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

It was easy to hide my fat eye. Shades weren’t out of place in this weather. The mouth, however, was going to be on full display unless I wanted to sport a fetching balaclava and risk being arrested.

I skulked down to school to pick my son up and was shocked at the amounts of compliments I got on my “lip fillers”. People thought I had done this on purpose!

I suppose people do pay a fortune for what I got for free.

Plus, now I can peg my embarrassing undies to my face while they dry in the house. Job’s a good ’un.