It is 10.30pm. I have just come back from a grumpy council meeting, I am grumpier than the councillors and now I have to write a column that you would want to read!

I know I have had several days to write it but I have been waiting for inspiration – forgetting that anything you write is only 10 per cent inspiration and 90 per cent perspiration. How I am going to perspire in this weather, however, leaves me baffled. And without that 99 per cent perspiration what’s the chance of writing a column?

Talking about perspiration, can somebody please tell me something that I still haven’t learned after nearly 15 years in this country.

How do you dress to go shopping? This is a serious question so if you have an answer please let me know!

It is freezing outside. The frost on the garden wall looks like snow. Your extremities are barely working it is so cold and your nose gives Rudolph a run for his money.

So you bundle up in cardigan, coat, scarf, gloves and fur-lined boots and step out to do your Christmas shopping.

Within minutes of entering the first shop you (well, I, anyway) am discarding everything except those garments I must keep on for decency’s sake.

Then I finish my shopping, go outside and am freezing again!

There are only two solutions: move to a warmer climate or ask the shops to turn down their heating a couple of degrees!

I’m not a good shopper anyway.

My sister and niece wanted to meet me in Carlisle recently.

My sister informed me: “We will go in early and do the shopping so we can just go for coffee and a meal.”

Now that is my idea of a good shop. You go into one store. buy the first thing you see (and decide later you shouldn’t have bought it), head out for a coffee and repeat this pattern throughout the day.

Christmas shopping in New Zealand was a lot different to here. For a start, Christmas is in summer and, secondly, we didn’t have so many people.

Our town had less than 5,000 people and it was considered reasonably sized. Our city, Dunedin, had a larger population than Carlisle but they seemed more spread out and didn’t all shop at once.

I can say that with confidence.

In 1989 our family came to the UK for Christmas and I went shopping in Carlisle.

I stopped to listen to what seemed like continuous, rolling thunder and discovered it was “merely” the sound of footsteps on the pavements. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before.

I honestly could not believe it. I was with my mum and pointed it out to her and she really didn’t know what I was talking about.

I couldn’t believe that, since she was, at that time, living in the tiny village of Ecclefechan.

As well as being obviously deaf, my mother also had this weird idea that if you came to shop you should shop.

She finally allowed us to stop for lunch in what was then Binns. It was a quick lunch because there was work to be done.

In retrospect I am a little ashamed. At the time, however, I opted for sanity. I gave my poor, arthritic mother a list and sent her to tackle it while I stayed and had another coffee!

I preach to people about internet shopping and the importance of supporting local shops – and I truly believe what I am saying.

But is there really anything wrong with being a hypocrite? What if I just promote the idea of supporting local business? What if I encourage everyone else to do it?

What if someone just pours me a wine and allows me to do all my Christmas shopping from the comfort of my own home?

Although I do wish my husband would turn down that heating!