Shelley Lofthouse

Shelley Lofthouse

Roses are red, violets are blue but washing up isn't romantic

Shelley Lofthouse

What do Donald Trump, R Kelly and a pool float have in common?

Shelley Lofthouse

I, like Oliver, just want to eat more food

Shelley Lofthouse

Who cares about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding? I'd rather have a party with Jacob's Crackers

Shelley Lofthouse

Shopping frenzy sends me off my trolley!

Shelley Lofthouse

Taking to the web in search of my festive boyfriend

Shelley Lofthouse

Snake poop is no great shakes...

Shelley Lofthouse

Struggling to cope with storm Emma

Shelley Lofthouse

One rose fighting to be noticed

Shelley Lofthouse

The universe was seething with poor me

Shelley Lofthouse

Kids are back to school...well, almost

Shelley Lofthouse

Fagged out by my gym excursion

Shelley Lofthouse

I just need to retrieve my comfy kegs

Shelley Lofthouse

I might be a tad indecisive, but I won’t kill you!

Shelley Lofthouse

Chester’s the best man I’ll ever meet...

Shelley Lofthouse

Disneyland or not – a queue is still a queue!

Shelley Lofthouse

My body’s let me down – not in a cool way

Shelley Lofthouse

I can forgive the fashion faux pas as dentist looked like Tom Hardy!

Shelley Lofthouse

So Uber isn’t something German?

Shelley Lofthouse

I’m on a diet – starting tomorrow

Shelley Lofthouse

Talent shows are closest I come to voting

Shelley Lofthouse

Necessities of life will come to you

Shelley Lofthouse

Unfortunately, I’ve only got myself to blame

Shelley Lofthouse

Stung by the criticism... and a wasp

Shelley Lofthouse

Injured as first cut is the deepest

Shelley Lofthouse

Song of my life proves a dead end

Shelley Lofthouse

Circe got the send-off that she deserved

Shelley Lofthouse

I love Easter, but my body doesn’t agree

Shelley Lofthouse

When pain proves good for the sole

Shelley Lofthouse

I’m growing old... very disgracefully

Shelley Lofthouse

It’s not always easy finding your best side

Shelley Lofthouse

Changing times for school kids

Shelley Lofthouse

A lifesaver...but please bring my stuff back!

Shelley Lofthouse

It’s my fault the NHS is on its knees

Shelley Lofthouse

Young, thin mother has the Edge...

Shelley Lofthouse

Stinky slippers are payback for my nasty ways

Shelley Lofthouse

I am sick of all this adulting

Shelley Lofthouse

My dreams have really come true

Shelley Lofthouse

Pawel is the best £40 I ever spent

Shelley Lofthouse

If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have none at all

Shelley Lofthouse

Don’t drink and eBay – unless it’s for magical wigs

Shelley Lofthouse

Can 2017 Trump such a bad year?

Shelley Lofthouse

An unimaginative imbecile always buys me soaps for secret Santa gift

Shelley Lofthouse

Soul sister weighs up cost of living

Shelley Lofthouse

A pet is for life, a partner not so much when they meet Hector

Shelley Lofthouse

The eczema karma left me red faced

Shelley Lofthouse

Ice-skating antics fail to save Dolly

Shelley Lofthouse

Good luck as Donald comes up trumps!

Shelley Lofthouse

Bonfire night has lost some of its sparkle

Shelley Lofthouse

Leaving the Brexit door open for Lidl

Shelley Lofthouse

My costume will render clowns useless

Shelley Lofthouse

When my competitive streak appears, it can get nasty....

Shelley Lofthouse

Chill out! I’ll find tights to protect you