It’s a new year and, as Oprah said, “another chance for us to get it right.”

Or maybe it was Jezza. It was a talk-show host, anyway. But before we look to the future, let us not forget the past.

It’s my favourite part of the year, guys! When we have the opportunity to look back and dish out our annual Shelley Awards (patented).

So without further ado, let’s get to it:

Scandal of the Year: Last year was most definitely the year of scandal. We witnessed Harvey Weinstein’s fall from grace, Uber’s shenanigans and found ourselves asking who Louise Redknapp really was doing the Tango with. The most bizarre story, however, was regarding former smooth guy, R Kelly.

Apparently he was running a ‘cult’ in his own household where people had to have permission to eat. Maybe it was just a case of Anything Goes or maybe he really is a Bad Man . Still, there have been no apologies. Anyone with a penchant for midnight feasts needs to avoid this guy because, when it comes to food, you Just Can’t Get Enough .

Twitter-er of the Year: Twitter, the perpetual waterfall of word-vomit, has seen a flurry of inappropriate comments in 2017, as has “Twitter for kids”, Instagram. From Bear embarrassing himself (essentially begging Charlotte Crosby to take him back, presumably because he needs help with THAT hair), to Chris Pratt reminding us that had John Wilkes Booth not assassinated Lincoln we would have been celebrating his 207th birthday.

Y’all know who takes this Shelley, though. The master of tweeting and champion of carpet-hair, President Trump. I’d heard the White House had actually banned him from going on Twitter. True, he’s risking World War Three by casting some serious shade over Kim Jong Il, Un, En (what is it?) make-up tutorials, but this guy never fails to raise a laugh of disbelief with his quick fingers and slow mind.

Best Idea by a Male: The guys designing the Pasadena pool float really should have opted for a female-led brainstorming session after it was announced that they had produced a new pool toy that is essentially a giant sanitary towel.

Please, please Google it and you’ll see what I’m talking about. It just goes to show that men have ZERO understanding of the ways of women. Or maybe they just really like hygiene products. Who knows?

Bravery Award of the Year: I’ve seen some mega acts of bravery this year, like when Kevin from Mirehouse had the guts to brave the Market pubs on Christmas Eve.

Now this is actually more a stupidity award but the guy is definitely brave. It’s actually a 2018 contender as well, but it was too good to pass over.

Someone is actually demonstrating a massive amount of courage and has announced to the world that he plans to marry Paris Hilton. You remember her? The velour track-suit enthusiast.

Just what does Chris Zylka see in multi-millionairess Paris? I know endless nights in a Hilton wouldn’t be enough to trick me into marriage. Plus, I’m a Travelodge girl anyway.