The more I know, the less I understand! I am taking a huge chance today. It is only Monday but I want to get this column out the way because I have a busy week ahead.

That does mean, however, that by the time you read it, it may be completely obsolete.

For all I know, after a shock recount, Nick Clegg has been restored to Parliament and is Prime Minister – and let’s face it, after everything that’s happened that is as likely a scenario as any other.

Let me see if I have grasped what has happened so far:

Jeremy Corbyn and Labour lost the election but are claiming a famous victory.

Theresa May and the Conservatives won the election but are acting like they lost.

The SNP still holds working majority of seats in Scotland but either won or lost depending on who you are talking to.

The Lib Dems gained some seats but lost their former leader and their current leader almost lost to a fish finger.

The Conservatives made a great deal, during the election, of Corbyn’s supposed links with the IRA but are now getting into bed with the DUP which certainly had its own terrorist links.

The only thing that was really obvious after this election is that Ukip is now finished.

Anyway, I hope I have cleared up the elections for you – because that is not even the bit I don’t understand!

On Monday we were supposed to begin negotiations with Europe over Brexit.

Much of the election was based on what kind of exit from Europe we wanted hard Brexit or soft Brexit.

In the first place, I still don’t understand what’s what. There has been much spoken but not a lot said!

How much say will Britain have, anyway? If I hand in my notice at work tomorrow, I would get an exit interview in which we would probably discuss why I was leaving.

Then I would have to work my notice to get any pay owed to me.

That’s it. I couldn’t set the conditions for my leaving. If I could, I would ask for 10 years’ pay and enjoy a life of leisure.

Of course, I would have to give something in return so I could offer to cover when the paper is short-staffed – as long as it is convenient for me.

If that did happen, I am sure every other employee in the company would be clamouring for a similar deal.

And that’s the point!

I don’t see how we think we can waltz into the negotiating room, demand what we want and get it.

If Europe caved in to us, everyone else would be leaving, too, and that would be the end of the European Union.

I might be missing something here. I know we were once had an empire but those days are long gone.

Now we are a small island and part of another small island.

As I write this, it seems likely that Emmanuel Macron’s party will win a landslide victory in the French parliamentary elections. (I say that based on the exit polls in the first round – the only polls that seem to have any basis in fact these days).

Macron is a strong supporter of the EU and I am sure his election will add to the determination of the union to remain firm and united.

Maybe we have more power than I realise. Maybe Europe needs us more than we need them. Maybe they will be glad to offer whatever we ask to keep us on their side. Maybe!

Whatever happens, whoever is in Government and with whomever, it was great to see so many turn out to vote this year.

And congratulations must go to our MP, Sue Hayman. She earned kudos in Maryport for her help in the local Save Our Beds campaign and I am sure she will continue to represent us well.