If only we were French!

I have wondered if it would be possible to make this column a complete politics and election-free zone until after May.

I don’t suppose it can happen because, no matter what the topic, you can almost be sure politics will be involved somewhere.

The NHS, West Cumbrian schools becoming academies, child care, community care – the list is endless and at the end of the endless list a huge percentage of everything in our lives is dictated by government policy.

At least if we were French we would have something interesting to talk about!

I will start by saying that I – and thousands of others I am sure – was delighted to see the right wing Nationalist, Marine Le Pen, beaten into second place in the first round of elections even though it was with an alarming number of votes.

There has been a lot of criticism of the centre in the UK over the years – the inability to tell the difference between Blair’s left and Cameron’s right.

In the case of the French elections, however, centre ground starts to look really appealing.

And talking of appealing...

The important thing about Emmanuel Macron, the man who beat le Pen into second place, is obviously his political philosophy.

It has absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact that he is young (39), good looking (although not quite comparable to Canada’s Justin Trudeau) and, it appears, romantic!

Much has been made of the fact that his wife is more than 20 years older than him and used to be his teacher!

In this country that would have been an absolute scandal. In fact, if you watch EastEnders, you will see it already is.

Michelle Fowler has returned to the square after being hounded out of the US, losing her husband and family, because of her affair with a student!

But in France? I heard one man interviewed who said he liked Macron’s policies and added: “And he is romantic.”

I don’t want to do our men a disservice, but I am struggling to think of anyone who would admire a politician for his sense of romance!

There was a picture of Macron kissing his wife after the weekend’s election result.

His nose is being completely squashed. Somehow, though, it did not look as odd as one of ours eating a bacon sandwich. It just made the kiss look real!

Anyway, by raving on about Macron and his wife, I have been doing the one thing we should not do! If the situation were reversed if Macron was 20 years older than his wife – there would barely have been any reaction at all.

By the way, the couple have been together since he was 18, despite parental pressure (his) to split them up. By the way, Macron has done the Donald Trump thing. He has come from nowhere – a complete unknown until recent times – and, against all odds, now has the French presidency within his grasp. His ambivalence towards the environment is a bit of a worry but, otherwise, he seems to be talking about tolerance and an end to austerity.

He wants to re-introduce community policing! I know that would be welcome in Maryport!

So: he is talking about tolerance, setting aside austerity and bringing people together. He is talking about keeping doors open and welcoming those in need.

I hope he wins because a world of Le Pen and Trump is just too awful to consider.

And if he does win, what does that mean for the UK?

The pundits are so certain that the Conservatives will win that I don’t even know why we are wasting the millions that could be spent on the NHS and education on a snap election with an apparently unassailable outcome.

But what if the pundits are wrong?

That can happen, you know. Just ask Trump and Macron!