From a god in my toilet to Piers Morgan - sometimes I have just TOO much to write about!

The lovely thing about the festive season is you kind of forget about the real world for a while. In fact, the word Brexit never entered our home for days on end.

When we did return to whatever passes for normality, Brexit was still there.

We also had to face the madness of a man being murdered on a train in broad daylight while taking his son out for a day in London. There were stabbings in Manchester and, in the United States, police were called to a man for the heinous crime of phoning his mother from the foyer of a posh hotel into which he was booked, and apparently because he was black.

Piers Morgan and above-mentioned toilet were almost light relief.

First the man. Hang on, you’d better let me explain - when I say man I mean Morgan. He often appears to have a god complex so I thought I had better make it clear.

What has got me worked up is an interview I watched on the ITV breakfast programme on Monday.

He was “interviewing” a woman who had come on the programme to defend the premise that being vegan was the responsible choice of those wanting to save the planet.

I am going home to steak tonight. I am a meat-eater and wouldn’t even know how to start being vegan.

But that does not mean other people are not entitled to their views.

The interview was the worst bit of journalism I have seen in my entire life. Morgan harangued the woman. She was not able to make a single point. She was accused of the most ridiculous things - killing bees and the insects in wheat and even suggesting that it is vegans who consume all the quinoa and avocados.

The woman looked close to tears at times and was barely able to hold her own - but neither would most people. He is a disgrace to the name of journalism. He has no respect for other people. He is entitled to his views the same as anyone else but not as a bullying monster. Anyway, I’ve made my choice - I won’t be watching him again.

Now onto the other matter: I don’t do loos. I always think that God went slightly wrong in his creation plans when he gave us waste disposal units in our own bodies. I never admit going to the loo and would certainly never attempt to go if there was anyone in the house, never mind in the bathroom.

Imagine my horror, then, when a Japanese friend of my daughter’s came to stay.

His family are of the Shinto religion. I was interested to learn all about it.

“We have about 800 gods,” he explained. “There is a god for everything - even the god of the toilet.”

What! Yes, apparently there is a god in my toilet. I am not to worry though. He’s not watching me. He’s not a pervert after all!

Do you die if you don’t go to the loo? If so, this is my last column because I will never go again.